Three quarters of the students expressed a certain readiness. One quarter didn't.
Rachel: I think all eight of us are ready, professor.
Zephyr: Eight? Are there really that many?
Wei: That's right. There are eight of us.
Zephyr: Can't we do something about that?
Lucian: You mean get rid of people?
Zephyr: No, just drop them from the class.
Ryan: Oh Zephyr.
Zephyr: I'm only kidding.
Lucian: Sure.
Professor: Let's begin today's lesson.
Zephyr: Let's.
Professor: Last week we had a class with positions of queen and knight vs. queen.
Lucian: We did, and they weren't very hard.
Professor: This week I thought we'd continue with a different minor piece.
Ryan: You mean, queen and bishop vs. queen?
Professor: Yes.
Wei: Will the problems be any harder than the last batch?
Professor: I'm afraid not, Wei. They're going to be even easier.
Lucian: Easier again?
Zephyr: May we start to see your five or six problems, please?
Professor: Actually, there are going to be eight of them.
Zephyr: Ha! One for each student. But who's counting?
Professor: I am. In fact, I'm counting on each of you to solve one problem on your own.
Rachel: One problem per student? Is this a kind of test?
Professor: In a way. Let's start with you, Rachel.
Question 1: How does Black force a win?
Rachel got the answer in about a minute. She was actually paying attention, and though she didn't have to, she even raised her hand to be called upon.
Thomas: Good going, Rachel.
Rachel was beaming.
Lucian: Ah, that was simple.
Hale: Everything was bunched up in the corner.
Professor: True, so let's spread forces out a bit. It's your turn, Idris.
Question 2: How does Black force a win?
As expected, Idris worked it out fairly quickly, with Ryan smiling as much as he did.
Lucian: That wasn't exactly hard, either.
Professor: I told you these were easy.
Zephyr: Yeah, you did.
Professor: Ryan, you're next.
Question 3: How does Black force a win?
Ryan, the class champion, had no trouble at all. She found the first move and its follow-ups in no time. Ryan was pleased, and so was Idris.
Zephyr: Are those two on the same team or something?
Professor: We're all on the same team. Now it's Wei's turn.
Question 4: How does Black force a win?
Like several of the others, Wei analyzed with confidence and accuracy. He managed a smile, and so did most of the class.
Hale: That was very well done, Wei.
Wei: Thank you, Hale. But it wasn't a very hard problem.
Lucian: No, it certainly wasn't.
Hale: Is it my turn, Professor?
Professor: Yes it is, Hale.
Question 5: How does Black force a win?
Hale found the right idea practically instantly. A couple of variations later, she had joined the ranks of those who had passed.
Lucian: I guess she did okay, considering.
Zephyr: Considering what? Your considered opinion?
Professor: Thomas -- it's your turn.
Question 6: How does Black force a win?
Thomas analyzed perfectly and found all the right moves in the right way. But he was cool. He showed no emotion.
Zephyr: The drawing master has a true poker face.
Lucian: I must admit, I can never figure out what he's thinking.
Professor: Well, Lucian, let's see if you can figure out the next problem. It's your turn.
Question 7: How does Black force a win?
Lucian's analysis was on par. He misanalyzed a move or two, but then found the correct way. He was fairly happy with himself.
Zephyr: Is it my turn?
Question 8: How does Black force a win?
After a false step, Zephyr self-corrected her analysis and found the solution. She was pleased with her efforts.
Lucian: Looks like you got your problem right, Zephyr.
Zephyr: Looks that way.
Lucian: Looks can be deceiving.
Professor: Deceptive or not, I'd say you all did pretty well.
Rachel: You mean we all passed?
Professor: Yes, you all did.
Lucian: Even Zephyr?
Zephyr: Even Lucian?
Professor: Yes, even the both of you.
Answer 1: Black's mate is straightforward.
Answer 3: Black wins with the same idea, in either direction.
Answer 4: Two directions, two skewers!
Answer 6: A few checks and White's pieces wind up out of position.
Answer 7: It's an easy win indeed.
Answer 8: It's start with quiet entry.
Zephyr and Lucian may occasionally exchange unkind words, but neither one compares to the master of chess snideness, Wilhelm Steinitz (1836-1900).
The first world chess champion was known for his razor-sharp wit. Once a kibitzer approached him after a game and asked how come he hadn’t played a different move, saying he couldn’t understand the champion’s plan.
Steinitz supposedly replied: “Have you ever seen a monkey contemplating a watch?”
One didn’t mess with Steinitz.
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