37 Funny Chess Jokes For Kids
Do you like to ask funny questions about chess? Or would you rather make up the answers? Do you realize how many silly jokes there are about chess? Because chess is one of the oldest board games in history that people are still playing today and the first form of chess is more than 2,000 years old, jokes about chess have been around forever.The question-and-answer (Q. and A.) style is a classic joke format and a perfect way to make your friends and family laugh. Here are some of ChessKid’s favorite jokes about chess that are organized in these categories:
- Jokes About FunMasterMike
- Jokes About ChessKid Tournaments
- Jokes About Grandmasters
- Jokes About Chess Players
- Jokes About Chess Pieces
- More Jokes: Chess Moves and Tactics
Which is worst—a hanging pawn (shown here), an isolated pawn, or a backward pawn?
Jokes About FunMasterMike
Q. Where does FunMasterMike go to relax?
A. To a pawn island. (To learn about pawn islands and other pawn structures, watch this ChessKid video.)
Q: Where does FunMasterMike sleep?
A: In a king size bed.
Q. Where does FunMasterMike trade his pieces?
A. At a pawn shop.
Q. How did FunMasterMike make money during a match?
A. From a discovered check he found on the chessboard.
Q. Why did FunMasterMike go to jail?
A. Too many bad checks.
Q. Where did FunMasterMike learn the best chess moves?
A. At knight school.
Jokes About ChessKid Tournaments
Q. Why did a hockey player play in a ChessKid tournament?
A. So he could check someone.
Q. Why did the lights go out during a ChessKid tournament?
A. Too many pawn storms. (To learn about pawn storms, watch this ChessKid video.)
Q. Why did pirates raid a ChessKid tournament?
A. The were looking for a treasure chess.
Q. What time is it when an elephant sits on your chessboard at a tournament?
A. Time to get a new chessboard.
Q. Why do some chess pieces look so disinterested during a ChessKid tournament?
A. They are part of a bored game.
Dancing rooks are never bored, unlike some other chess pieces.
Jokes About Grandmasters
Q. What did the chess grandmaster say to the headwaiter at a restaurant?
A. Check, please.
Q. Why did the chess grandmaster get tense in a restaurant?
A. The waiter said, "Check."
Q. What did the judge do to the guilty chess grandmaster?
A. He threw the rook at her.
Q. Why did it take so long for a grandmaster to finish his dinner?
A. The table had a checkered tablecloth, and it took forever to pass him the salt shaker.
Q: Where do grandmasters like to go to look for a bargain?
A: At a pawnshop.
Do grandmasters really look for bargains at a pawnshop? Photo: Wikimedia Commons.
Jokes About Chess Players
Q. What did the chess player do when the big tournament was stressing him out?
A. He took the knight off.
Q. Why didn’t a chess player offer a draw?
A. Because he wasn’t a good artist.
Q. What did the Australian chess player say to the server at the restaurant?
A. Check, mate!
Q. Why did the chess player bring pencils and a pad of paper to a tournament?
A. In case there was a draw.
Q. Why wouldn’t the cowboy play chess?
A. He was afraid he would lose his horse.
Q. Why did the ChessKid take a ladder to school?
A. Because she wanted to go to high school.
Q. Why did the ChessKid coach wear sunglasses at school?
A. Because the students were so bright.
Q. Why are artists so bad at chess?
A. Because they like to draw.
Q. What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say at the start of a chess game?
A. I'll be Black.
Jokes About Chess Pieces
Q. Which chess piece is the most powerful?
A. The knight because it goes over the top.
Q. How did the king lose his home?
A. One of the horses took his castle.
Q. Why was the chess piece so lonely?
A. It was an isolated pawn. (To learn about isolated pawns and other pawn structures, watch this ChessKid video.)
Q. Why was a chess piece in so much trouble?
A. It was a bad bishop. (To learn what makes a bishop bad, watch this ChessKid video.)
Q. Why was the chessboard so wet?
A. The queen has reigned for years.
Q. Why is the white light-squared bishop the fastest piece in chess?
A. Because it’s on F1.
Is the bishop that starts on the f1-square magical?
More Jokes: Chess Moves and Tactics
Q. What’s the most costly move in chess?
A. The check.
Q. Why did the chessboard fall off the breakfast bar?
A. Counter-attack.
Q. Why are chess moves so easy learn?
A. It’s all there in black and white.
Q. Why don’t cows play chess?
A. They cannot make any mooooves.
Q. Why did a chess piece keep bumping into the queen?
A. It was a backward pawn. (To learn about backward pawns and other pawn structures, watch this ChessKid video.)
Q. Why didn't the pawn cross the road?
A. It was captured en passant.
If you read all these chess jokes, you are truly a fan of the game. On a serious note, perhaps you are interested in a quick history of chess. Watch FunMasterMike explain the history in less than three minutes in the video “An Animated History of Chess.”
With these jokes, you can keep your friends laughing for a long time. If you like these jokes, you are going to love ChessKid’s selection of funny knock-knock jokes about chess in this article.